A Happy Seeker

Today, I will be talking directly to you blogger babes. I have one question, how do you do it? Before I get too into my thought process, let me give some context. 

Over the last month, I have really been thinking about  L I F E  and everything that entails it. For the last 8 months I have devoted time, effort, passion, and love into Belle En Rouge. I have loved every minute of it, but as a true person I began to think about my career. Last week I started my first year as a grad student. I can’t even grasp that. Like , “I’M IN GRAD SCHOOL!” I have a degree! But, what am I doing with it? The reality that a lot of my peers and close friends have jobs both minimum wage and high paying ones, I’m hear at the end of the line. Sure, I’ve sped through school, but what for? What was the purpose of going through academia so quickly to only graduate without a job in my career? I’m a college graduate without a job! Just like it sounds, I’ve been going through a rough patch these past few weeks and I’ve put some blame on blogging. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE it. I love creating content, writing, telling stories, taking photos, creating videos, networking, building projects, working with brands…until I took a step back and realized, how does this help anyone? I’ve been selfish my whole life. I’ve focused on myself for 20 years, now it’s time for me to help others. How does blogging impact other people’s lives? How does it help you guys out? I share my experiences, advice, tips, and fashion with you, but does it make a dent in your life that actually makes a difference? I’ve had a few posts where I do give quality advice, but besides that, I’m blogging for me and for no one else. THUS…

Two weeks ago I deactivated my Instagram and for four days, I didn’t think about it once. I didn’t think about uploading a photo, how many likes did I get, how many followers did I lose, why don’t people like this picture, how come no one’s engaging, what am I doing wrong? I kept telling myself that my Instagram wasn’t saturated and in a way, it’s true it isn’t, but at the same time, it is. Instagram is making me not love creating content, not blogging. I love writing, I love taking photos that have a meaning behind the image, which is why I won’t quite blogging. However, I’m opting out from Instagram. At least in the way that I’ve been using it. I was going to delete it all together, but I enjoy sharing my life a little too much. I hope this rant didn’t deter anyone from pursuing blogging, I just know that for myself, this career is not what I want in life. I was not happy feeling pressured to keep an image. As much as people say to be yourself, on the internet nobody wants to see who you truly are. They only want the pretty moments of your life and who can blame them, I want the same. 

After stepping away from Instagram and cutting down to writing once a week, I’ve actually become a happier person. I’m enjoying quality moments with friends instead of eating my food cold and taking meaningless photos that everyone else has. Everything I post on any media platform has to have a meaning behind it, and that is not what I have been doing. As a storyteller, that ruins the emotions of the words and the photo. 

Thanks for hearing me out and with this, look forward to quality and meaningful content from now on. 

xx

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Part Time Writer + Full Time Coffee Enthusiast && LOS ANGELES NATIVE

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